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And Finally Today... Alix was, as she mentioned in her last posting, the only Surly person here in the office for the better portion of last week while the rest of us toiled at that great dog and pony show Interbike, the bike industry's enduring annual gulag. And she done good! I received word from several people praising her hard work and prompt attention to matters which I can assure you are not normally hers to know anything about, and she handled it with aplomb (which is, again, not what it may sound like). Scott, of Bicycle Sport Shop in Austin, Texas, had this to say: "The lovely and talented Alix had responded to me promptly last week. I recommended doubling her salary to two donuts per hour." As Surly has reached dizzying new lows in our marketing strategem, leading to staggering highs in inaccurate and therefore acceptable reputation, and all this has led to people sending us unsolicited resumes (?!), I thought Scott, and all of you, deserved some explanation of our official pay policy: "Dear Scott Donut prices having reached a 10 year high, despite ingredient prices having fallen continuously during this same period, we have had to reevaluate, reassess, and generally rethink the whole donut payscale we use here at Surly. Realizing that with growth we are not the mom&pop, corner store band of misfits we once were but instead the cutting edge of anti-technology and therefore leaders of industry and Very Important People, we realized the only honorable thing to do was to hire consultants, so we found a team of people we've never met who have degrees that sound almost made up, & who arrived in expensive cars and nice suits to reevaluate and redirect our situation, all at high cost, but let me tell you it was worth it! We were advised by this group that indeed donut prices, should we so much as hold steady our payroll, would send us to the poor house. Donuts, it seems, are more expensive by weight than gasoline yet remain in much greater supply. Demand for donuts is simply astronomical. This group advised an alternative, and an old standby at that, almost forgotten since the days of yore. Peanuts. If you're buying your peanuts from the whole foods section of your local chain grocery, buying them "bulk" as they say from dirty little bins that require a lot of refilling (if the product in that bin sells at all), you're paying a premium and have no real idea what peanuts actually cost. Peanuts are so cheap that they make donuts look like the fat greasy potentates of a crumbling economic empire, soon to choke upon their own waste in a surprise visit from the shaded hand of fate. We saw the light and are now the hand-wringing scrooges we always knew we could be. Yes, Alix will get her raise: an entire dixie cup of peanuts per hour. Sweet!" Not sure Alix feels the same way, but she -and you- can rest assured that donuts are still a big part of our Long Term Business Plan, and we have promoted Alix to Donut Procurement Officer Kerl, Cursor to the Office of Donut Related Activities. She would like you all to know that the donut threat level is currently Sprinkles, up from Glazed just yesterday. Be alert, citizens. -----